Servant Leadership: Understand Others won't Understand

Right now, in America, is a tough time to be a leader. Leadership requires courage. Leadership requires sacrifice. Leadership requires empathy. None of that is respected right now in America.

America wants change. America needs change, but it refuses to accept responsibility for why it needs change. Before you write this off as another tone-deaf article not written by a black man, please listen – this is not about the color of anyone’s skin. I am not writing this because rioters hijacked peaceful protests and caused millions of dollars in damage to innocent black businesses. I’m not writing because everyone in America is in face-saving mode so I might as well jump on the bandwagon. I’m not even writing because presidents and their former staff are openly warring on social media.

I am writing because I am no longer content.

Paul wrote to the Philippians:

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” (Phil 4:11-12, NIV)

If I follow my own advice, then I’ll “Let go and let God.” Isn’t that applicable to every situation? If we stop reading at Philippians 4:12, it is enough to just let God take the wheel (thanks, Carrie Underwood) whenever we lack contentment. But what about when God is driving lack of contentment Himself? How do we “let go” when He’s the one pushing us to change? God does push us to change.

“So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ. Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.” (Eph 4:11-16, NIV)

It seems only right that when God has pushed us beyond the very contentment He calls us to have, that we should follow, change, and grow in Him. And change, no matter how it comes about, is very often uncomfortable, unwelcome, maybe even unwanted.

Right now, servant leaders, that means understanding that, sometimes, no matter what we say, no matter what we do, others will not understand.

Some won’t understand because they choose not to. Using endemic racism as a backdrop, some societal groups (white, black, Hispanic – irrespective of skin color) have learned to hate. White children in America’s poor, rural areas learn to hate migrant workers who “take good-paying American jobs.” Black children in inner-city ghettos learn to hate police of any skin color because they are “power hungry” or “hate blacks.” Racism comes in all colors and serves as the anchor some people will choose to avoid understanding. No matter what you do, servant leader, a racist chooses not to understand. You must come to terms with the fact that no matter what you do, the racist will choose to not understand.

Some won’t understand because they simply have no frame of reference. A man who was forced to work early in life to help support the family has no means of relating to a millionaire who spends lavishly on a car, a boat, or even on shoes. Shoes are a necessity to keep his feet from freezing in the winter and blistering in the summer heat. Shoes are a necessity to keep falling steel from crushing his toes. Shoes are not a fashion statement. He cannot fathom a rack of shoes that match each outfit. No matter what you do, servant leader, a man with no frame of reference cannot understand. You must come to terms with the fact that a man who has never known unbridled love will doubt your very motive, not because he chooses to, but because he simply has no reference for love.

Some won’t understand because their minds are physically incapable of grasping the concept. Not for a lack of trying, but I cannot comprehend nanophotonics or quantum computation. I have never been trained to use math at such a high level. I can compute burn rates, predict budget shortfalls, and use other functional math tools, but math at a theoretical level is alien to me. I’m not stupid. I simply cannot grasp the concept. I have never been trained to do higher math. No matter what you do, servant leader, short of instructing me on the long a detailed path from Algebra to nanophotonics, I cannot understand it.

The answer lies in the next sentence Paul writes to the Philippians.

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” (Phil 4:13, NKJV)

Once a servant leader understands that sometimes others simply cannot or will not understand, then he or she can lean on Christ for a way to change the dynamic. The lack of understanding is not a final outcome – it is a current status. God Himself makes us uncomfortable so we will be forced to confront our own lack of understanding. Sometimes He makes us uncomfortable with our relationship because He knows there is someone out there better suited to be our partner. Sometimes He makes us uncomfortable with our jobs because He has something better for us somewhere else. And sometimes He makes us uncomfortable with our friendships because He knows those influences are leading us down a path of self-destruction, not self-enlightenment.

We just have to listen. Start by understanding that others won’t understand, but don’t leave it there. Find out how God wants you to change – yourself and the situation. Be the change you want to see in others. Listen to why God has discontented you and do something about it. Let go of whatever is holding you back, servant leader, and grab hold of whatever God is sending your way. That, servant leader, is your responsibility.

Dare I say, we just have to let go and let God.

(Photo: needpix.com)