Listen, Linda!

Many of us are familiar with the video of the adorable toddler whose primary claim to fame is his exhortation to his mother, "Listen, Linda!" His argument? Gramma lets us!

Poor Linda. Mateo won't let her get a word in edgewise. Every time she begins to negotiate, Mateo interrupts with, "Listen, Linda!"

(Ok, let's be clear. This is not a commentary about parenting skills or a discussion on the logic of negotiating with a 3-year-old.)

Fast forward forty years, now Mateo is in the board room. We can imagine the discussion is animated, but we can also imagine that Linda, whether supervisor or subordinate, still cannot get a word in edgewise. However, regardless of his adorability, Mateo's cute counter to anything Linda says is not the problem. The problem is that neither Mateo nor Linda is listening.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. (Jas 1:19, NIV)

Servant Leader, how often have we found ourselves arguing with a co-worker to no avail? How often have we walked in on two associates talking, but not listening to each other? How often have we been on a sales call where everyone is selling and nobody is buying? Everyone knows someone who has to talk just to "hear his own voice." I ask you, Servant Leader, what benefit does a clanging cymbal bring to the band if it is out of tune or out of time?

Listening is crucial to understanding, and understanding is crucial to business. (I bet you didn't know James was a master businessman, did you?)

There is an old adage in business that goes simply, "The customer is always right." The phrase does not literally mean that everything the customer says is correct. Instead, it means that we must listen to the customer if we want to learn what the customer really wants. That is something many firms and industries have forgotten.

Beyond firms listening to customers, how many of us servant leaders have forgotten to listen to our coworkers, bosses, and charges? How many of us have taken Mateo and Linda's tactic of speaking over one another because, as we all know, he who talks loudest wins? How many times have we insisted that we be heard, only to really say nothing?

As servant leaders, the responsibility to follow James' instruction is ours. We should listen first and speak only after we clearly understand the topic at hand. I have said it before, sometimes all a coworker really wants is a kind ear to listen. She doesn't need us to fix anything because she's smart enough to figure it out on her own. She just needs a sounding board to bounce problems and solutions off of.

But what happens when she turns the corner from needing a sounding board to needing a solution? Were you listening? Were you listening with the goal of answering or understanding? I ask because it matters.

Listening is a muscle we servant leaders must exercise, else it gets weak. Listening purely to respond or answer is a child's skill, learned and exercised, like Mateo, from infancy. But listening to understand is an adult skill that, like digesting meat instead of milk, comes with age and is best exercised with wisdom. Be the adult in the room, Servant Leader, and be deliberate. Because, like E.F. Hutton, when you speak, your words should carry weight.

"But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matt 12:36-37, NKJV)

(Photo: thespruce.com)