When We Violently Disagree

Every servant leader makes one basic assumption, that he or she is right, that his or her path or approach is right for the circumstance at hand. Go ahead, challenge me on that. I am right, you know. See?

Seriously, though, servant leaders tend to lead with the expectation that those under our charge will agree that our way is the right one. We are accepting when someone brings an alternative way that may even work better, but rarely do we consider that something we have deliberately decided is wrong. Why, you ask, and why does it matter? Mainly because we trust in the knowledge, experience, and wisdom our great God has given us and that the path He has placed us on is the right one.

But what happens when we are wrong? What happens when we are confronted with a reality that is incongruent with our path?

To answer that question, let's take a quick look at Acts chapter 15. Paul and Barnabas had been working together building the Church. Still, regardless of the successes they had achieved as teammates and co-leads - Church Project Managers if you will - still didn't prepare them for how to handle a dispute among themselves so basic that it tore at the very fabric of their partnership. Or did it?

"Now Barnabas was determined to take with them John called Mark. But Paul insisted that they should not take with them the one who had departed from them in Pamphylia, and had not gone with them to the work. Then the contention became so sharp that they parted from one another. And so Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus; but Paul chose Silas and departed, being commended by the brethren to the grace of God." (Acts 15:37-40, NKJV)

Not even Paul, one of the most prolific Apostles of the early Church, was immune to disagreement from his fellow leaders. In this case, Paul chose to display a "zero defect mentality" and refuse to allow John Mark to continue because his commitment had failed them earlier. Barnabas, on the other hand, recognized that Mark's experiences and perspective was still valid despite his earlier wavering. (The Bible never clearly explains why Mark split from Paul during the first missionary journey.) Paul, the hard charger, had no room on his mission for slackers. Barnabas recognized that grace, skillfully extended, benefitted the Church as a whole.

The lesson here, Servant Leader, is that even when we are "right," there may be an equally right alternate approach. Our confidence in our right path is not misplaced, but it may not envelop all right paths. Both Paul and Barnabas continued growing the early Church in their distinct paths even after a dispute that divided them and, if handled without grace, could have sunk the entire project.

Our takeaway from Paul's and Barnabas' split is to be considerate of others' approaches even when they conflict with ours. Paul could have easily said, "I am Paul of Tarsus and I say Barnabas' way is flawed because he took Mark and I tool Silas," or vice versa. But neither did. They accepted their irreconcilable differences and allowed the other to profit the Church despite their disagreement.

So, Servant Leader, when you find yourself at an impasse, if for whatever reason you are unable to continue or must break the team, do so prayerfully, with grace, and trust that the God who got you there in the first place will continue with you as long as you listen to His calling.

Paul and Barnabas did, and look at where we are now!

(Photo: badlefthook.com)